It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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