we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
