So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
