i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
soo... how was my night?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
