Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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