Jerry, you need to find god
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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