What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
