I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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