so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
