The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
