awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
pray to the hookup gods
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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