Apparently you make a good broom.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
