there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
