goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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