I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
