So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
