Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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