Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
