Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize