Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
