everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
