I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
