You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
