Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
