saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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