fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
