it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I love having hate sex.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
