I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
