Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
