can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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