She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
