Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize