he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
