Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
