the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
