Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
