Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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