you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
