we're blogging at a bar
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
