So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
operation harelip BJ is a go
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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