a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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