he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
