u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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