Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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