No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
