Screwed.edu
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
