Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
