Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
