beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
