Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize