It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just invented taco cereal.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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