Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
