i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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