Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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