Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
PANTIES FOUND
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