OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
