so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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