another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
