kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Green mimosas i think yes
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize