the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
