Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
