Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
