theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
sarcasm needs its own font
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
